"How can I be sure my child is being properly indoctrinated into The Patriarchy™?"

Do you find yourself worrying about this? Maybe, like many parents, you lie awake at night wondering if you're doing a good enough job preparing your daughter for a life of breeding and scrubbing toilets. Well, you can relax, because toy manufacturers have been busy coming up with innovative ways for your future brood mare/wet nurse to learn her place in society.

PlayGo My Cleaning Trolley® teaches your daughter that a woman's work is never done. And that work consists mainly of dustbusting, window washing, and cleaning floors and surfaces.

With the Just For Girls™ Playtime Electric Iron, she can perfect her steaming and pressing techniques long before her wedding day, ensuring her future husband an endless supply of crisp, starched shirts.

Bebe Gloton allows future mommies to simulate breastfeeding. Accessories sold separately include the Junior Baby Momma® Manual Breast Pump and Udder Balm for cracked nipples.

My Little Uterus® Ovulation Calendar is an important educational tool for preparing girls for a lifetime without access to birth control. 

By the time your rugrat comes of age, it may be difficult for her to obtain routine gynecological care. She'll be grateful you got her that Li'l Princess Pap Smear Kit so she's had plenty of practice doing it herself!

Barbie is an icon. But did you know she was also a teen mom? Teach your daughter pro-life values with Teen Pregnancy Barbie! Because it's a man's world, and men will want to knock her up as soon as she starts high school.

My First Episiotomy!™ contains everything kids need to practice repairing perineal lacerations after a difficult labor. Having her own vagina ripped open all the way to her anus won't seem nearly as scary after she's had hours of fun making the incision and suturing it up herself on this lifelike model.

Have fun, girls!